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Acedian Ruin

by Ball of Light

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1.
Human Mind 04:09
Second guessing every word that you’ve ever uttered Sure that everyone should live in fear of each other Robbing yourself of everything you love in isolation Getting crushed under all that you take until you break There’s nothing better when it’s cold than a fire and a garden of ashes Turning everything you was into fire and into a garden of ashes Counting all my mistakes and fuck ups and losing track Every single day when I wake up I take it all back Ashamed of the way that people live like animals If we’ve survived at all it is despite our human minds Counting all my mistakes and fuck ups and losing track There will be a day when I wake up and never look back On the things that make me want to live like an animal But the things that make me want to try a human mind
2.
Seance 02:26
Faceless like a shadow Where the light’s not doesn’t matter I know how to listen but not to respond to these things Choose the never ending Look at what you’re defending Set dreamlike state Don’t ever speak my name Nothing to give and that nothing is mine Let’s go on and live two whole new lies Looking for love with a seance
3.
Empty Hands 02:34
Taken - more lives drifting up in smoke No one there to hear the only truth you spoke Here’s an understatement - things are bleak I’m the worst and only company I keep The voice I loved is gone Now I love loneliness But the world still goes on with my back turned to it And empty hands So much for your claims and promises So much lost
4.
Acedia 04:04
Do you burn churches or do you burn books? You say the wrong things but have the right looks You’ve got everything and still want more Without knowing what you even live for This is too much, this is too real, and it’s too late to stop now Screams so loud, crushing doubt, funeral gowns People and the past repeat themselves The broken records are flying off shelves We’re losing control of how we’re defined And get our exercise by running out of time New face, same shit New life, same shit
5.
Dirt 02:48
Walk across the ceiling, float towards me descending Bodies become abstractions that I can’t let go of Show me that I’m weak and walk away Show me that I’m weak because I’ve got nowhere Autopilot again, beyond repair broken Maybe I’m there under the layers and layers of dirt Show me that I’m weak and walk away slow Show me that I’m weak because I’ve got nowhere else to go Do you think they know you’re hollow?
6.
Viral shame, a nation in chains Futile strife and this is the rest of our lives Cracked blinds, the threat is outside Lit fuse, manipulated and abused Is there a way we can know peace with armed occupants in our streets? A farm for fear, taste the air But I’m not powerless or weak There’s nothing sacred here in this moral no man’s land And I don’t accept these terms because they’re not true They’re just words Spell crazed, new leaders to praise Hidden hand, and thoughtless golems made of sand
7.
Equinox 04:41
Forgetting how everything feels This agents purpose is numbing Pretend I’m alone because I want to be but look to see if someone’s coming Holes deepen and skies cave in And everyone I see is just like me Waiting on an equinox At least something’s always changing Celebrating with an autumn breeze The comfort in not ever knowing Mourning ritual, they’re still alive in our minds Rotting structures collapse all around us at all times Murder The blood will run with or without you The floating cadavers you tend to get used to The blood will run with or without you But I still see beauty It’s something I can’t explain
8.
Rainfall 02:48
Deepest darkest blue coloring my world with you Deepest darkest black and it’s not ever going back I deserve it all All the dark clouds All the rainfall and all that comes down All my mistakes and all I’ve been through And all I regain when I get over you Think you’ve seen my worst? Wait till I put myself first New skin to the touch, it was good but not enough
9.
In Your Debt 02:29
Peering into the fog sneaking by armed guards Walking the tree line awaiting your call Imperfect strangers with a mutual distress That night we were giants like the ones you scoffed Fearing the devil because he’s in your head But he’s in all of us so take what you want Shaking, quivering Iron gates opening Hell's choir here to sing And when the night is done I’ll leave and I’ll always be gone
10.
Hemlock 03:21
Walk away from another mess Keep on going until there’s nothing left I could change but I haven’t found out It’s still something I just dream about Crowds awaiting and applauding earth's slow demise Nothing you think ends with you where your body lies Other side, grin from ear to ear I was told I could expect you here It’s not real now and it wasn't then Everything we say is just pretend
11.
An unwanted son, a weight that you bear An opened up heart with nothing in there A whole other world inside of your fist A mystic, a critic, and a devastatrix A whole life of looking and nothing to be found A whole world of shit to go around A spark that if you blink you will miss A skeptic, an adept, and a catastrophist This world is a cold bed to lie on It’s a cold shoulder to cry on

credits

released October 29, 2021

Charles Williams - Guitar, Vocals, Drums
Paul Schroder - Bass

Additional Vocals & Guitar by Gared O'Donnell

Produced by Matt Yonker
Mastered by Jonathan Nuñez
Cover Artwork by James Hutton

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Ball of Light Cincinnati, Ohio

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